Dad's Day Hash
Wow, it is getting hot out there; the Father's Day Pedalfiles hash day had to be 169 degrees Fahrenheit! We had a great turnout despite the heat and it being a family day; both G-mattresses are proud of our cycling wanks. I think the promise of blowjobs on trail might have had something to do with the ratio of 1 hariette to every 5 harriers. It is a shame the best head-giver of all opted-out of the hash that day; we could have used Pick N Flick's help to serve the masses on trail!
Let me be the first one to say that the hares Asshole in El Paso and Redheaded Woodpecker did a superb job with trail. It was well marked and a perfect length of 16 miles; just enough to get us thirsty for a beer, but not too long to make us fall off of our bikes due to dehydration. Speaking of spillage, we're on some kind of crazy roll! Nobody fell off his or her bicycle this time; I think we've racked up two hashes in a row free and clear of road rash on trail. Does this mean we've successfully weeded out the cycling-challenged wankers or perhaps we're just not drinking enough beer.
We welcomed a couple virgins; Half-hash brought Pickle Packer with her calves of steel and musical thighs (they sounded suspiciously like a ring-tone). The beautiful and intelligent beer angel, Men at Work, brought UPMS who successfully ran over the powdered dead dove on trail as he was anxiously counting powders to the blowjob check. I made him do it again so I could get a picture; who's the sick one here? It was good to see Cervix Technician back on trail again trying to bust the hares. TD was on trail bragging about how he gets more blowjobs than he can handle...but I see where he gladly accepted one at the BJ check. Liar! After most harriers tossed down premium beer and a free blowjob (thanks to the stupendous hares), we were still waiting for Dirty Sanchez. Being that he is not one to by-pass a blowjob for any reason, we were a bit worried. He finally showed up at the check with his shorty-shorts and headband, claiming how he had followed some dude for five miles. He claims he thought it was the infamous Casual Friday...WTF? Do I look like some dude from the back end? It must have been my rock-hard buttocks that threw him off...they must not jiggle enough in the spandex to tip him off.
The rest of the Trail was a sick tease, as the hares pulled Trail out of their butts because they forgot where the decision points were supposed to be, as well as ran out of flour. You'd think with as athletic as those two harriers are, they'd carry 50 pounds of flour on their backs instead of carrying just 3 pounds in their little pink purses. The trail led us to two hash-friendly bars that were open and ready to serve us cold beverages, but we were mapped away from the door of both establishments. Again, may I mention WTF? The hares got the hash shit award for pulling not one fast one, but two. Perhaps we'll actually go into bars on July's Pedalfiles trail.
Circle and lunch was at Shooter's, where the owners sat outside to listen to our songs and general hash BS. They really do ROCK, as I noticed they turned down the jute box for us while we sang a couple songs on the patio. The DFL award was given to I Love Fat Chicks and Deep Dish, as they showed up at Shooters wearing church clothes and entertained the preacher's family at a different table.
On-On!
Casual Friday
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